Living in my Black Girl Magic

February 03, 2018

Growing up, I was always looking for ways to conform to the standards of beauty that didn't apply to me, to conform to the ideas of blackness and femininity that were implemented by people that oppressed the magic out of the black woman.

I would laugh at black jokes, I would be envious of the straight hair and would do everything to atteint that looks, and I would believe the definition men gave of what a true woman is. But I would always fall back in my ways of being "too black" or "too independent for a woman", and whatever else that was not permitted for me to do as a black woman.

I was not aware that subscribing to these rules, was just another way for me to dismiss and disapprove my blackness. It was another way for me to conform to the standards of beauty that were calling for me to obey them while making sure I knew I could never be anything like them, because of the blessed curse of the wide nose, the big lips and the nappy hair.

I had to recognize that beauty isn't just a superficial thing it's a whole attitude and lifestyle. It's about feeling confident in ourselves, trusting our abilities and bettering ourselves. Being black isn't just about a skin colour or a race, it's a culture and a history of a nation who has survived the worst. And my femininity isn't for anyone to validate or diminish based on social standards.

I still remember the first time I felt magical, I was posted in my living room watching the Red carpet Oscars in 2014, it was the only part of awards show I actually watched. Seeing all the women walk down the carpet in their gown looking beautiful than ever was just so mesmerizing to me. Although I loved seeing these men and women on the carpet I felt empty because I didn't feel like I could be anything like them.

Until I saw the beautiful Lupita Nyong'o walk on the carpet radiant in her beautiful baby blue dress. I finally felt like I was seen, I call my mom because I have never seen someone like her in my screen and I was so in awe that this beautiful woman had the same hair has me. It made me feel like I could to look beautiful and elegant. For months after that, I would try to style my hair just like hers. I even bought a similar dress (which I still have).

She was boldly making a choice to live in her magic and that inspired me to do the same.

We are living in a world where we watch our magic be consumed and we are left starving for yourself. Well, I don't want our magic to be dimmed anymore because our Magic is choosing the freedom of being black and beautiful over being fearful. Black Girl Magic is all about using our bodies, our minds, our words and our spirits to bring life and cultivate our culture, our community, our representation in the media, but most importantly ourselves.

I had the chance to create this article as a collaboration with 3 other magical bloggers on the same topic: Living in Black Girl Magic. Make sure to stop by each their pages and read their truths!

Saffire of Queen of Virtue               Shanisha of Honestly me           Kenyatta of Luminous Life Links

Here's a song that will hopefully get you into your own magic!

Happy Black History Month and Stay magical!

Love from the Burn


Leah said...

This is actually a great way to start off BHM! Living in your truth, accepting and embracing who you are WHAT you are (a badass black woman if you didn’t know the answer lol) continue to shine until the end of February and for the rest of your life.

Love you black girl,
Another back girl

Tisha said...

I know so many black girls are experiencing/have experienced similar feelings because of social norms. It’s great that people are speaking out in order to ensure better for the next generation. Thanks for sharing!

Michelle Robinson said...

I love this! Black is beautiful and I hate that people try to make us feel any less than that.

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