'I want to be beautiful'
A desire given to me by patriarchy. It told me to try my best to be 'beautiful' life will be easy, ya know since beauty is the kryptonite to those running the world.
I started loathing beauty when I realized I was never set up to be 'beautiful' and the journey could never replace the destination.
Perhaps loathing beauty is not the activism I think it is. And I may still fall for the desire to adhere to the male gaze, I don't know that I know better.